just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
