so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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