In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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