we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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