Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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