these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
