If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am naked and annoyed.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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