You made me cry and you don't even care
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
