halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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