And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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