Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
