You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize