hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
