Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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