Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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