Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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