"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
