There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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