Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
