Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
