Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
