Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize