What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
