Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
