arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i think i just lost a toe
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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