I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
