Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
