Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
