I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize