Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
