Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
