i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
