this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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