Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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