you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
