just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
