Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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