So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
