Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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