So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
