So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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