dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
