My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
