i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
