he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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