dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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