The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
