You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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