Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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