If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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