u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
