He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
