Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do vagina's smell?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
