My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
