Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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