Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
