Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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