True but thats because hes a fetus.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
