he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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