We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
