just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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