i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
