when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
