don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
