HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
