forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's blow job season.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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