"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
